By LINDA ASIMOLE ELLA
We know the common saying that “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. We so easily agree with this and may not think too much of it. This piece is here to help give us a little more thought to what it implies. Interestingly, there is no one who does not look beautiful to someone. That tells you that whenever you look at another person and do not see the beauty in that person, it does not mean that the beauty isn’t there.
With the eyes of the admirer, what you see in another person is a projection of what you see or would like to see in yourself. Yes, beauty lies in your mind and in what you choose to see.
In writing this piece, beauty here does not apply to the female gender alone. Nature is beautiful and so are both genders. A thought crossed my mind as I wrote this: “If at any point your pride and ego get too much into your head, simple remember that you were born of a woman. That will give you some perspective.” Waoh! What about that? Everything was created beautiful.
Have you ever had an experience of working and\or living with a very pretty lady. Then, after a while, you get to know the person’s character and troubles, and that pretty and cute face you used to know and admire seem to just fade away. You no longer see it. What has happened? Did the face change? Or perhaps you now see beyond that facial look. You are now looking to connect with the person at a deeper level.
Then again, have you ever experienced living, meeting regularly or working with a physically challenged person. You get so used to the person and this person exhibits several positive traits. Guess what! The physical disability just seems to disappear. You no longer seem to see it. You now see the person beyond what the physical form dictates.
These two instances which I have personally experienced, goes to tell us that a person’s beauty, dignity, esteem and value lies deep within them, somewhere beyond your eyes. And so, whether it is “visible” to your mind or not, this human person is a person of dignity and must be respected and highly valued.
Do you tend to categorize people into various boxes: statues, groups, colours and classes? You are not alone. This comes easy to us, yet we need to consciously unlearn the categorization and let people be who they are. A person who does bad things, does bad things. If there is anything you could do to help change that person, then do so, else say a prayer of goodwill because it still comes back to you if that person becomes better or not.
Every person has a beautiful soul. However, our freedom to make choices make or mar this beauty. Some doctrines try to separate the sinner from the sin and they believe that God does the same. My truth is, we can only truly be gods over our own lives and hope that our positive impact and influences changes someone else for the better.
The beauty of each human being lies in his or her human dignity, divine image within, basic human rights and sense of dignity. This is a neutral, pure, integral and a wholesome way of looking at every human person. Again, the choices we make, either make or mar what becomes of our lives. It is all in our hands. The creator and nature had it all put together so well.
Learning to see people first has “human beings” is a great way of becoming that admirer of nature’s beauty and diversity.
The thoughts outlined here are so parallel with certain ideas such as racism, white supremacy and black lives matter. Indeed, all lives matter, but where black lives are trampled upon, then it has to be announced from the roof tops that indeed “Black Lives Matter”.
What is your spontaneous inclination when it comes to how you view and work with others? Be honest to yourself: Are they there to benefit you? Do you see them as tools to achieve your interest? Do you interact with people solely based on your personal interest first? Do others become a threat to you if they no longer attend to your needs and interest? To some persons, these are not even questions to ask because of course everything they engage in should solely be geared towards achieving their personal goals, desires and interest.
A man who looks at a girl and only sees her as a toy for his sexual pleasure has a problem. A lecturer who sees a student’s presence as an opportunity to exploit him or her by asking for money or demanding for sex does have a problem. A woman who sees another woman’s child as an absolute good for nothing, certainly has a problem. A person who occupies a position of power and authority and sees it as a grand opportunity to enrich himself or herself has a problem. A person who sees a child and feels attracted to defile that child does have a big problem. Hey, these are not normal, no matter how common and widespread these occurrences are.
You know what, when we exploit, manipulate, harass, ignore and oppress another human being, it is because we do not know ourselves. It is because we are wearing a faulty lens in terms of our outlook of the world and who human beings are and represent. It is because we do not see in ourselves the beauty and dignity that we carry and therefore cannot see it in others.
Do you admire a person or your position for the common good or to the detriment and degradation of society?
Together We Can… See the beauty of others and the beauty of our positions for the common good!
So what YOU DO matters!
DISCLAIMER
The OPINION / COLUMN is authored by independent contributors to the National Accord Newspaper. While contributors adhere to our editorial guidelines, they are not employed by the National Accord Newspaper. The perspectives and opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author and do not represent the views of the National Accord Newspaper or its staff.